


Night Shift

by yiendere



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Anyways, Fluff, M/M, and everyone already knows except eunwoo, anxious ball jinjin, but supportive i promise, jinjin has this huge crush on eunwoo, jinjin is whipped, not so helpful friends aka astro, perfect prince eunwoo, your typical college au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yiendere/pseuds/yiendere
Summary: Jinwoo doesn’t know if he prefers to say fuck it and grab Dongmin and kiss him in front of all their friends, and the whole college campus. Or if he just wants to pack his things and run from this monster of a crush he has on Dongmin.He chooses the latter.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Night Shift

**Author's Note:**

> Hello once again ~
> 
> Just... Jinwoo is a dork in this fic, okay? If there are any terrible mistakes, please let me know on twitter (@lesbyien)  
> 

It didn't take a genius to guess that this would be another sleepless night for Jinwoo, eyes already red and heavy from how beyond sleepy he felt, that same sleepy feeling that kept coming and forced him to close his eyes for the mere act of illusion.

An exasperating sigh slammed into his face, the sheets barely let him breathe in the warmth of his bed, and only part of his hair and eyes could be seen by anyone who dared to open the door of his semi-lit room by the lights coming from the street. At this point, his phone was already lost between his body and the sheets, far down between Jinwoo's limbs, and frankly, he had lost all motivation to pick it up and be confronted with reality.

It seemed like an innocent idea, intensely thought through for hours and over the months that Jinwoo had come to admire Dongmin from afar. Something almost overlooked in Jinwoo's mind when he thought of the possibility of rejection, or worse, humiliation.

But more humiliating than Jinwoo’s perplexed look as he stares at someone he considers to be just a good friend while he does the most mundane things, he thinks there is nothing more absurd than that. And so, the idea never left his head.

He cannot explain what is actually the prettiest thing about Dongmin. The small details scribbled out in the fuzziest nooks of his mind cannot even explain the tightening Jinwoo feels in his heart as he sees this man walking through the school corridors, a bright and wide smile upon his face, so captivating that he can make anyone turn heads in his direction. Maybe it would be a drawback and a huge exaggeration to say that hopeless romantic Jinwoo had never felt anything so overwhelming for a mere smile, but Jinwoo wants to take the risk and be stubborn and say yes, this is indeed the only smile that can make his heart race in seconds. Just like that.

The duality of this man, how he is able to smile like such a scorching and lovely summer day, and moments later has the audacity to run his thin fingers through his brown hair, with a jawline so sharp and capable of cutting Jinwoo's hopes in half in plain sight. And with every step towards him, Jinwoo loses his breath more and more, as if a pebble the size of his head is positioned on top of his chest at that very moment. It is a somewhat oddly specific explanation for Minhyuk's understanding, but Jinwoo swears to him that it is one of the very few ways to describe the feeling of seeing Lee Dongmin walking so delicately and confidently towards his direction, that slow walk of death killing the only few heartbeats he has left after contracting this disease called “crush”. 

And why does the size difference between the two have to be so lovely and cliché? Seriously, even while sitting on one of the old school benches and Dongmin is standing in all his glory, Jinwoo always looks smaller than Dongmin. And that's lovely, it's annoyingly lovely indeed.

The only thing Jinwoo can do now is look away, maybe if he gives the excuse that he's too busy reading crumpled notes for the next class he'll let him breathe for more than ten seconds. But Dongmin's pearly gaze pokes arrows at the top of his head as he looks down, and the words suddenly cease to make sense and the sense of memorization is forgotten. Jinwoo knows, he knows that the other is staring at him. Okay, his plan B would be to close his eyes momentarily and pretend that the boy who can turn his innocent thoughts into ones that are inappropriate for the general public is not right there admiring Jinwoo's stupid strategy.

Did he mention that Dongmin's voice sounds even sweeter than his appearance? That or Jinwoo never heard his name being called in such a mesmerizing way. Normally his name is said either by his frustrated mother who is about to complain about a sock getting lost in the middle of the room instead of being in the washing machine, or by his friends losing their temper and bringing him back to reality after hearing Jinwoo speak of Dongmin as if he were the only man on earth. Either way, his own name has never sounded like honey before, but when said by Dongmin it becomes a melody that he would love to repeat for hours.  
Jinwoo likes to think of Dongmin as if he was his favorite song; he would be able to listen to it again and again without the lyrics ever losing its meaning, and the sound of his song is capable of arousing his most rare and beautiful emotions.  
And Jinwoo likes it. He likes Dongmin, and the dozens of new emotions he makes him feel.

Jinwoo sometimes catches his thoughts wandering down a faraway path that has never been explored before, and said path takes him to parts of this crush he has yet to explore and to be honest, he’s kinda scared of doing so. 

And Jinwoo also knows, not from experience but from reckless hormonal thinking process, that Dongmin must taste like candy. Well, or maybe it's the shuffling paper noise that causes him to look away for a millisecond to follow Dongmin's hand as he hides the paper in his pocket and with a slow motion (way too slow) shoves a lolipop between his lips, and now Jinwoo really needs to bury his eyes in the jumble of words in his notes, for he refuses to die from blushing too hard. 

Jinwoo wouldn’t consider himself an unbelievably brave man, perhaps brave enough to kill a spider in the corner of the bathroom when it’s needed, but not brave enough to face the sight of Dongmin sucking on a lollipop. But it is one thing to be brave, another to be curious. And come crucify him for it, but Jinwoo is able to risk his sanity and the little innocence his thoughts still have to observe Dongmin right now. His head lifts slowly, his gaze fixed in the perhaps unconscious but still obscene way Dongmin's lips are so perfectly wrapped around the lollipop.

And it’s at that moment that Jinwoo doesn’t know if he prefers to say fuck it and grab Dongmin and kiss him in front of all their friends, and huh the whole college campus. Or if he just wants to pack his things in his backpack and say he prefers to go to class early, which would be the least Jinwoo thing that Jinwoo could do.

He chooses the latter. 

Now, running away without any explanation will raise suspicion. But come on, Jinwoo hasn’t committed any crime to go through an entire interrogation, so he prefers to think that he can deny all allegations that Jinwoo acts the strangest and most awkward way when Dongmin is around. And that Jinwoo has an undeniable desire to hold Dongmin's hand. You know, those false accusations. So when Minhyuk catches sight of him in the back of the classroom, pen in hand and between nervous bites, he knows that he wouldn’t need to ask why he acted the way he did. He simply sat in the chair next to him, giving a small punch unable to kill a fly to Jinwoo's shoulder, assuring him that everything will be okay.

But Jinwoo is sick of being just okay. Okay for Jinwoo is to get up every morning and just imagine what it would be like to have Dongmin's arms around his torso, nose buried in the other's neck whispering a very sleepy good morning that awakens all senses in Jinwoo.  
Okay would be to imagine what it’s like to walk hand in hand with Dongmin through the school's hectic, bustling corridors, making people question why these two chosen to do that, and be able to proudly receive a kiss to the top of his head by this Adonis looking being as the other giggles in the most silent way, only for Jinwoo’s ears to hear. Okay would be to imagine what it would be like to tell everyone that Dongmin is his boyfriend, and to shine with happiness upon seeing the astonished face of every person he tells.

Okay is to imagine all that could happen if he had the courage to admit once and for all that he is more than in love with Dongmin. And yes, he is sick of being just okay.

But for now, he has to settle for made-up scenarios in his head too good to become true. Oh, that and escaping Dongmin’s gaze once he’s out of that class. That too.  
Now would be the perfect time for Jinwoo to run for his life, given the fact that he would rather run a marathon a thousand times than face not only the curious and still confused friends he left hanging but also the person and the main reason why he ran away in the first place.  
Maybe if he keeps talking to Minhyuk as they leave the classroom, no one will even try to talk to him, or maybe the guilt plastered on his face will scare everyone away. 

Only when a cold hand squeezes his fingers in the middle of his hasty walk does Jinwoo realize he is, indeed, fucked. 

And there he is, holding his hand and squeezing it so as not to let this fearful mess of a boy escape again, and for a moment Jinwoo felt an inexplicable calmness as he felt Dongmin so close.

This calm feeling soon became panic when Dongmin asks what he feared most and would rather not hear for the next twenty years.

“Jinjin, what’s wrong?” 

Well, starting with the way Jinwoo's legs feel like jello on a plate, and how his heart beats with the power of a metal band drum every time Dongmin is around, he would say a lot is wrong. 

His eyes meet Dongmin's midway without saying a word, but if his eyes could speak, Dongmin's would be asking for an explanation. But Jinwoo doesn't respond, and the hand that once only wanted to hold Dongmin's now tries to break free of his grip, however reluctant Dongmin may be about it. 

And it is as he slips his hand through Dongmin's hold that Jinwoo realizes that the innocent idea he dreams of day and night could only be a mere sketch ever drawn in his head, and would have to be thrown away to the little garbage can in the back of his mind eventually. 

“Jinwoo, please…” Dongmin's merciful words have a sharp knife touch to them, as they cut his heart to pieces, and Jinwoo has to look in the opposite direction to avoid sinking into his friend’s sad, tender look.

Myungjun says he's a, and he quotes, blind coward. Minhyuk simply says he's dumb for not understanding the signs right in front of his nose. Well, Jinwoo just knows that his bed has never felt so comfortable and welcoming in his damn life before, as he throws his aching body onto it, and silences the group chat with one last message that reads "Fuck off."

He just lies in the same spot like a starfish, gazing at the ceiling and the various cracks formed along the years in the once immaculate painting. He wonders what Dongmin was doing at that moment, or more importantly, what he was thinking of him after all the chaos he went through today, courtesy of mister Park Jinwoo himself. 

His thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a familiar buzz coming from the other side of the bed, and Jinwoo doesn't roll his eyes completely to the back of his head only because he hasn’t mastered that ability yet, and he swears that if it’s Bin giving him another speech about heartfelt love, he will block him for about ten minutes. With a grunt, he finally manages to grab the damn phone and honestly Jinwoo would rather not have done it, because surprise surprise, it's not Bin who texted him. Judging right away from the lame choice of emojis given to this person’s name, Jinwoo feels that the world has just fallen on him, for it could only be Dongmin texting him and persisting on talking about a subject that Jinwoo preferred to bury and set fire to.

“No. No. I didn’t see anything, I didn’t see shit-“Maybe if he buries his head on his pillow for, I don't know, a couple of weeks this message would disappear and mister prince charming would forget about Jinwoo's existence. It sounds like a good plan.

Or maybe Jinwoo should stop wondering what it would be like to tell the truth. What would it be like to see Dongmin's face of contentment when he professes those secrets words to him, and when the only thing left to do is to ask that question we are taught from a young age to do when we like someone. What it would be like to press his forehead to Dongmin's, and look into the eyes of the one who for months on end made him stammer with nervousness, and sweat with anxiety. What would it would be like to feel the other’s arms around his waist pressing them so close to each other, as the older stands on his tiptoes and smiles because damn, isn’t his boyfriend adorable?

The courage of the brave, as he likes to call it, where a single gulp of air is enough to pump a sudden source of adrenaline within him was what Jinwoo needed to finally put that fear aside and shake off the tremor he felt rushing through his thumbs the moment he opened Dongmin’s text. His brain resembled those electronic signs posted on busy city streets, sending the same message every second, the only difference being that the imaginary sign in his mind read something like "get your shit together." 

His eyes once again analyze the words too small for his blurry vision displayed on the phone screen, which for some divine reason has become ten times heavier since receiving said message, such is the power of the almighty Lee Dongmin. 

“Can we talk?” 

Those were literally the only words on the chatbox, but for Jinwoo it looks like a testament declaring his death. There goes the fucking courage then.

His thumb sways without ever touching the keyboard, considering the right words to say, a meaningless and tangled mixture of thoughts in his head making his heart beat a thousand miles an hour. 

After many sighs and deleting the same message ten times, Jinwoo opted for the best answer.

“Yes.” Perfect.

Soon after another answer arrived, much to Jinwoo's dismay, and it didn't take long for him to open the chat again and read the reply with a frown.

“I feel like there’s something going on or maybe I did something wrong, either way, can you please tell me what happened?”

Now, Jinwoo never experienced being run over by a truck blasting Metallica, but he assumed it would be as painful as the inexplicable feeling of making Dongmin believe he did something wrong. He, perfect dreamy boy taken straight out of dramas, Lee Dongmin.

Absolute chaos erupted in his brain. Jinwoo didn't think it would be possible to tremble so much with anxiety, his chest tight with several knots keeping him from functioning normally and creating a coherent sentence, a long chain of ‘fucks’ being muttered under his breath.

“No, you did nothing wrong, you never do...” Shit, don’t simply send that, you fool

“… What I mean is, it’s complicated. And I don’t know how to explain it.” He managed to type down, hesitating before hitting send.

Truth is, nobody ever prepared him for confrontations. They always say to be sincere, honesty above all right? But they never taught him how to deal with what comes next. Rejection is one of the fears, and probably the most frightening of all. It means he failed at something; he didn't live up to expectations and not being good enough hurts. But it’s also the feeling of losing a friend to a possibly unrequited feeling. And that not only scares him, but it kills him from the inside out.

The unknown is scary, and Jinwoo is scared shitless.

Another muffled buzz.

“I promise I’ll understand. Trust me.”

Jinwoo swallowed hard all the words that threatened to escape him, the deafening sound of his own heartbeat filling the once silent room. 

God, he didn't know how to decipher Dongmin. His expression, which is constantly peaceful and serene, irritatingly beautiful, does not show even half the whirlwind of feelings he contains. Jinwoo wonders how he does it, knowing that Dongmin can be as chaotic as his group of friends altogether. So when Jinwoo says he doesn't know what his beloved's reaction to his miserable confession might be, he really has no idea. And right now, without being able to look him in the eye and admire Dongmin's characteristic smile, he not only misses that same joyful smile he only wishes to kiss in the near future, but he also feels uneasy for not knowing when that last moment could ever happen.

With dexterity and a confident deep breath (as confident as he can get right now, let’s be real), Jinwoo writes his answer “I’m just scared of your reaction, that’s all”.

And sent.

Not even a minute later, the screen lights up again, causing momentary pain to Jinwoo's tired eyes, which threaten to close as the dreadful minutes passed, but more brownish tones to decorate the circles that already lived comfortably under his eyes would not make much of a difference to his looks anyway.

And the awaited reply just read “Don’t be.”

The simplicity of the answer only further complicated the web of questions lodged in Jinwoo's head. When Jinwoo thought about the complexity of this creature called Lee Dongmin, he thought exactly of this; how he is the cause of Jinwoo's current sleepless night, his body heavy and constantly turning around in vague attempts to find the perfect position capable of lulling him by the peaceful comfort coming from the sheets warmly hugging him. 

And this was Jinwoo's turn to leave Dongmin consumed by doubt and mystery, as he did not have the right words to answer. Call him a coward, yes he accepts that claim, but he prefers to consider himself huh terrified and gay. The phone was shoved so far down into the sheets, buried like a dog bone that Jinwoo didn’t intend to dig up until the next morning when he would have to confront his terrible fate: he was going to speak to Lee Dongmin, and he would either throw up in the most ungraceful way in front of his crush, or he would find the courage hidden and kept in the dark for years to finally spill his heart out ... whatever that means. 

Everything was going to be just fine. Right?


End file.
